Sunday, September 27, 2015

Her life!

"Her Story" I married the first man that I fell in love with. He treated me like a queen. He treated my family like they were his own. He promised that he would take care of me and never break my heart. We were a couple for 11 years – married for 8. On the 5th year of marriage he changed. He no longer cared what I did, how I looked, what I said, etc. I tried everything – counseling (he said no), change my look (he didn’t notice), gave him his space (he wanted more). I finally gave up during the 8th year of our marriage and filed for divorce hoping that I can have another chance at a fairytale. A year later I met someone. We lasted for several years. In our 4th year, I found out he had herpes and passed it to me. He’s had it for years and wasn’t honest. He thought he would lose me, took a chance and tried to be careful…it didn’t work. I stayed because I loved him. Also because we went to his doctor together – she confirmed his story, educated me on this disease and assured me it wasn’t a death sentence. We were planning our wedding. Our lives together. He broke up with me a year after that. I picked up the pieces (barely) and did just that. Never looked back – but worked on myself and thought about the many bad choices I made. I thought about how the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Yes, I left a loveless marriage but my next relationship was even more destructive. How I made a bad choice, trusting a man to tell me the truth, when I should have controlled my actions, my life and made us take a blood test together. I didn’t want to tell my story to be judged harshly because I’m already paying the ultimate price – but just as a warning for those of you who treat sex like it’s a handshake. I have to live with this for the rest of my life. Have fear in meeting someone, caring about them and down the line telling them this “flaw” and risk feeling rejection….and starting the process all over again. Be safe. Get tested. Try abstinence. Don’t be quick to leave a situation because the next one might be worse.