A Bad Boy Turned Good: Rebuilding and Redefining Our Relationships!!!

I thought that if God wanted all women to be happy, he would've made all men like me. I’m everyone’s woman’s dream and every man’s nightmare. If I wanted you, consider yourself lucky. But if you wanted me and I didn’t want you, then there’s always that man who is a distant second. My motto: love them and leave them, use and abuse them. That’s what bad boys do, but women love it, they enjoy the excitement of someone with edge that lures them into forbidden territories that their mothers always told them to stay away from. But like a kid in a candy store, you can’t help but to touch and taste what seems so appealing on the outside. I enjoyed taking advantage of vulnerable spirits that willingly gave themselves to me. I am only taking what was rightfully mine in the first place. Women were made to be helpmates, so why not use them to get what I want. This was my story until I met the woman that made a bad boy turn good.
The right woman can change a man’s life forever. She inspired and saw things in me that I didn’t even see in myself; she made me want to be a better man. I wasn’t looking for her and despite my wayward ways she loved me in spite of me. But in spite of her undying love for me I couldn’t keep her, because I allowed my bad boy ways to get in the way of love. The day I lost her was the day I realized that I wasn’t doing right as a man and that I was still hurting from past experiences which surely prevented my relationship from working. They say you never miss a good thing until it’s gone, well she was gone and she was never coming back. I spent many days and nights in pain trying to figure out how I could reconcile with her, but to no avail the relationship had met its demise. After countless sleepless nights I had an epiphany, what I needed to do is “HEAL” from past hurt. My revelation was that I was carrying around my past hurts and pain from previous relationships into my current relationship. And how can you be good for anyone else if you can’t be good for yourself. It was time to face and release the demons that had continued to haunt me that my subconscious mind would not let go. It was time to be born again. Through prayer and intercession, I realized the urgent need to be healed. What I realized that day was that a man is only as good as his woman allows him to be. Moreover, most men don’t know who they are until they know what kind of woman they want or if they even want a woman. But knowing this woman made me realize that I wanted to be a better man and if I was going to make a mends with this woman, it was time for me to not only let go of my past, but it was time for me to rebuild and redefine our relationship.
Relationships can undergo many transformations. These transformations can take form in repairing current relationships to developing healthier connections in the present and future or healing from past heartache. When relationships are broken and/or have become weakened due to deceit, and betrayal, it is often times very difficult to regain the trust and love needed to rebuild and strengthen it. The first step to rebuilding and strengthening a broken relationship is to become transparent, coming clean through absolute honesty. It is best to lay it all on the table and be fair to the other person than to try to hide behind subliminal truths that only expose part of the reality that has added insult to injury in the relationship.
The second step to rebuilding and strengthening a relationship is one’s ability to forgive. Asking for forgiveness is often times viewed as a way of saying that you are deeply remorseful for your transgressions against another person. However, asking for forgiveness is much more than simply saying one is sorry. It’s both parties’ willingness to let go, allowing one another the capacity to create the freedom needed to create a new future. Apologizing for the hurt, and listening empathically to loved one’s concerns, fear and anger over conditions that has brought you to a point of needing to rebuild and redefine can enhance and improve a broken foundation. One must realize that it takes time to rebuild trust therefore you must learn to cultivate patience during this process. Rebuilding and strengthening is a process that takes time, and time is essential to the healing and growth process. Keep in mind that during this process there will be detours that will try to get you off track, but stay the course.
You must create your own path, for the road less traveled will lead you to new lands that you never knew existed. You must learn new communication skills, including being direct about what you feel and need. You must take responsibility for your actions and through measures of accountability; restructure the relationship to fit a new and improved perspective. Be proactive in defining a vision of your life together and devise a plan for how you are going to get there. And remember to always respect each other’s: values, time, privacy, space, weaknesses, point of view, faith, love, choices, characters, and one another.

A Man Finding His Way Back to Love!!!

My life has had many angles, some acute, some right, some left, but
all these angles have led me to a place of contrition. I’ve searched
for love with an empty heart looking to fill a space that should have
been filled with self-love. Searching for validation from others due
to insecurities that I mask through a shielded cover of a fictitious
sense of self-confidence; never alone, but feeling lonely because what
I seek I have yet to find. How can one possibly love someone else if
they do not love themselves? Enabling myself to receive love, but
unable to give it in return is a selfish response to a broken heart
that knows no better way but to fear a loss of love without ever
taking a risk on obtaining it. I gain, I lose, I win, I fail; its a
vicious poisonous cycle that has plagued my life for way too long. I
no longer want to be the inconsistent person that I see in the mirror.
I no longer want to be the person who has it all and loses it all in
one single swift motion. I am ready to rise from the ashes,
rediscovering what I once knew to be true, real, and pure. A being
that was divinely woven by God’s hands, made in his image out of love.
The only thing that stands in the way of what I seek, is me. The
time has arrived for me to get out of my own way. And if no one else
believes in me, I believe in myself. Who I am to deprive myself of a
love so great that it seems like a fairy tale, but is real to me and
everyone else who ask me the question: “Why do you smile?, Why do you
glow?, Why is it that when everything around you seems to be in utter
mayhem you still appear to be at peace?” I lower my eyes, take a deep
breath, and let out a sigh of relief and say, “Outside of God the
greatest love I’ve ever known is in love with me and I am in love with
her.” And if you want to know how I learned the lessons I needed to
learn in order to get to this point where I am today, I will gladly
say, “There was a bright light that shined inside of me the entire
time while I was going through the storm that I was too blind to see.
And little did I know, that same light was the rib that was created
from my body that God sent to save me. It is the same reason why I
smile, why I have such a glow, why I am at peace when everything else
around me is in complete disarray.” Yes indeed.. she is my woman and
it is because of her that I am, and that I can be better…

A Brave Heart!!!

Message from B.O.R.N. 20 YEARS later and he is still standing and living proud, MAGIC JOHNSON that is. Magic you are a brave man, REAL MAN. We don't judge you, we just embrace you. You are a prime example of revealing the truth and pain because we all know it had to be painful to find out something like that, not to mention reveal it to the world. Keep living MAGIC and leading by example. Magic you are a class act!!!!

My final thoughts: Running away from the truth will never set you free. Let go of the image, pride and ego, before it destroys you. Ask yourself who are you trying to impress and how will it help you? You will find no one really cares. Give others the chance to know the real you so you can receive all the Blessings that await you.

Voices can be scary and technology (phones) can be trouble!!!

Age 22:

At home one evening while watching television the phone rings. I pick up the phone, the person on the other lines asks for someone else; I replied “you have the wrong number.” I pause because after hearing her voice I continued the conversation because her voice sounded so sexy. The conversation continues due to my peaked curiosity and before long what started as a wrong number turned into phone sex. I asked the woman on the other line what she looked like, she replied describing herself as Janet Jackson in the movie Poetic Justice. Initially I got frantic, but then paused again because I remembered what Smokey said in the movie “Friday,” “she told me she looked like Janet Jackson, but the b$%^&* looked more like Freddie Jackson.” Naw that’s just a movie so I continued on with the conversation; I arranged for her to come see me early in the morning before I headed to work. We scheduled for her to get there at 7am. Although she did call to say that she was running late, she was too late so I decided to leave. As I was going out the entrance, I saw a woman in the lobby of my building by the intercom. I heard my voice coming from the voice recording on my phone, so I instantly knew she was the one looking for me. OMG!!! She was nothing like she described herself…She looked a hot mess. Needless to say I walked swiftly to my car avoiding any possible eye contact. As I’m driving, she calls me moments later, asking , “where are you?” I responded a few minutes away from the job. She then asked, “ what are you wearing? Are you wearing beige?” I replied, “No, I’m wearing all black.” I never answered her calls ever again…