Age 23 -32 lost at an early age, prime of my life.

Who am I? I was dating an older single woman for a few months. She was extremely generous, single mother of one son, entrepreneur, cooked for me all the time as well as bought me anything I wanted whenever I wanted. That’s how I liked it, a woman taking care of me. I happen to go out one Saturday night. I met another woman, older of course. Only days had gone by. The new woman called and asked to see me. While sitting in my room she asked me if I was seeing anybody, I said yes. At that time she told me I had to stop seeing her. The new friend was a mother of a son, but was married to a pro basketball player. WOW……I couldn’t believe what I had done, in a matter of days after meeting this woman I called my friend I had been dating for months and told her that our relationship was over, “don’t call me again”. She was devastated, but due to the fact that she was a woman that wasn’t possessive she didn’t give me a hard time. Well, here it is 9 years later and I’m still involved, in love with one another. I lived a life of a ghost, nobody knew about this relationship, but my family and 2 best friends at the time. I was a complete liar during that time, even with other friends. I had everybody thinking I was living a normal life, but it was tumultuous. All I wanted was for God to help me because the stress alone was killing me. Although, she would eventually leave him, I lost 9 yrs of my life that I couldn’t get back. I would visit her home which could have been ugly if her husband had surprised her. She would tell her husband she was going to church as an excuse to come see me for a few hours. I got a pager so she could have a way to send me messages when she wasn’t able to see me. She would text me with a particular code to tell me she loved me. I was content. There were times I would be in the house for days, weeks, weekend after weekend, waiting for her to see me because at one point I didn’t have a pager. This usually took place during the summer months when the season was over. We would go out of town together. There were times we were suppose to spend New Year’s Eve together, but she stood me up because she couldn’t get away. During these 9 years I was manipulating everybody, allowing people to think that I had a lot of women, when in reality I was playing myself because I was involved with a married woman. I thought I had the game mastered, but I didn’t. At one point in my life before her, I was in total control of my life and the ladies; well that’s what I thought. I was the second option in this relationship. To add insult to injury, due to having influence and having a vast network, I was able to get this woman a job. She had never worked during her marriage because she didn’t have to. She decided to get a job because she was trying to show me that I was the one she wanted to be with and she no longer wanted to use her husband’s money. She proved her love for me by leaving him and moving in with me. By this time, she was working her third job. She lived with me for about a week, but it didn’t work. I guess I didn’t like my space being occupied with anyone else. After all that, I was about to have this woman all to myself, but we didn’t get a long during that week so she looked for a place, moved out and that was the end of us..

My advice: No need to play with someone else's toys when you can have your own. I had a single woman but chose someone else wife because of beauty and money and it cost me valuable years of my life. I did fall in love and so did she but at the end of the day, it wasn't meant to be because she was always someone else's. Love is deadly, especially if you aren't use to receiving it. We are all worth something, so let's not deprive ourselves and settle for what we think looks good or what someone may have. Know that when you play second fiddle, you don't and never will come out on top. Be confident, feel good about who you are and know you can have anything you want in this world that you put your mind to.